Sunday, August 28, 2005

Greedy..Stupid... me?? What is wrong with me ??

Why do I want to get a job in Bangalore? Why do I want this year (acc) year to finish off fast ? Why do I keep thinking of wht I will be next year ? Why do I keep planning I year in advance ?Why do I want to move out of home ? Why do I hate going out with my parents? Why do I hate being ´alone´ ? Why do I crave food ?Why do I want to leave my parents ..the very people who gave birth to me..made me wht I am..the people who love me??Am I like the little birdie who just flies away from its nest!! The last I saw the mirror I was still human...Oh good Lord wht is the matter with me!!!!!

Is it cause I want to get all those goodies I ´want´? Is it cause I want freedom? Is this wht everybody goes through at some point? Do I think so? my Dad dint move out till he got married.. and my mom never moved out cause we live at her ancestral property...Is it cause I´m 23 and never been in a relationship?

Is this some new thing that the guys in my generation experience? Or am I plain greedy? Oh dear Bloggers!!!! you are my only hope....Please tell me I´m ok..Please tell me you still love me!!!

21 comments:

Andromedia said...

Thomas... CALM DOWN! A lot of people leave home asap... and you love your parents very much. Its not like your leaving and you'll never see them again! You can't even leave yet bc you still have school, lol. I still love you, what would I have done last night if you werent there to cheer me up?

lost optimist..^!^ said...

wht u r undergoin is the 'leavin nest' syndrome..don worry..its very common in our age..our parents will only be happy to see us become independant succesful people.. thts life after all..humans or birds.. we hav to face the big bad world which our parents protected us from all these years..we hav to stand up on our own two feet.. life's like tht.. got placed..did u? and ther r a lot more cetians than u think in this vast expanse of blogworld..

silverine said...

Hi Thomas,
Take a chill pill and enjoy the last year of school or college whatever. Leaving home for a job is something natural and the need to be independent also. Besides it is not like you are leaving them forever. But you will now be carving out a new identity, an independent identity as Thomas. So dont go on this guilt trip and enjoy the new journey ahead. I am sure your parents know how much you love them.

Besides, Bangalore, Big Boss and frogs are no cakewalk believe me :)) LOL

lost optimist..^!^ said...

aah..went thru ur blog..ur outta cet..doin an mba..im guessin.cool..im writin this yr's cat with high hopes.. ciao..

>|' ; '| said...

dude

i am kinda in the same groove.
but,
i cant wait to leave the 'nest' cos i am not a little birdie anymore, i guess. it wud b pointless for u to stay home till ur marriage is over, cos the times have massively changed...like they say the good ol days are gone. the new days beckon. get the best outta em. and leaving the nest is the 1st step...i guess.

karthika said...

hey...thomas..

maybe its dat itme of ur life wen u looking out for some space for ourself ,even 2day i felt i shud move out..and have a life of my own be independent..and ofcourse as u said mayb i hve never been in a relationship...so wanna feel wantd at sme point in my life...

sheetal said...

it is, dear boy, because ur human. chill out and cross the bridge when u get to it. most of the time it's not half as scary as it seems ;-) good luck anyways

tessie said...

If you only knew my questions you would think of yourself as being normal.

God is in control, and He will bless His children!

Anush said...

Thommi-chaaya,

This is very normal! Exactly what I felt like in 12th -- followed by a sudden transition to a feeling of initial homesickness, followed by a sense of ultimate freedom and cowboyishness, enjoying life n friends, and finally, years later, wishing you're back home again! :)

Russell Smith said...

Thomas,
I believe it is a normal experience you'r going through. Remember that the great patriarchs of the faith were wanderers: Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Moses.

We have a simultaneous longing for rootedness at home (I experience it too -- I'm far away from my family, and not a day goes by that I don't long for home in South Carolina) and a longing for experience and adventure.

Have no fear -- you are in the hands of the living God.

Russell

Princess of Mirkwood said...

Thomas, I do not think there is anything wrong with you. I know what you are going through I too wonder most of those same questions....I'll be praying for you.

Sable Chicken said...

Thomas,
Your feelings are normal not selfish. I think about you quit often. I am new at speaking up for the Christian faith and you have backed me up several times...I really appreciate that.

We love you man...you are always in our prayers

crossblade said...

thank you everybody!!
for making me feel loved and happy!!
God be with you all too
thomas

Nunzia said...

aww! of course we do! Wanting is something so human! It's when we want for what we know God doesn't that we get lost.. you are far from lost.. just stay calm! God Bless! --Nunzia

crossblade said...

Nunzia,
thank you for reiterating my faith

Ruth said...

God made us to dream, Thomas. While I was reading your post, I saw your words coming out of my own heart. I want to go places and experience new cultures, but don't I owe it to my family to stay at home? These questions will be answered - by our own decisions. The only one who can tell you the answer to your questions is God. He knows your heart and your dreams and He also knows your fears, so listen to His voice and make your decisions based on your conviction of the Truth of His word and the sound of His voice.

Brood Mode said...

could relate so well to ur post, considering i was in the same boat 6 months ago, itching to break free. i did and am loving it.

Not like i have cut myself off totally, but u just need to do it at times. really helps to break free and discover yourself in a "no strings attached" environment. and yeah... getting a job in bangalore is only too easy!

Damian said...

Yea, leaving the confines of safety and surety that you have known all your life can rest on your mind at times. I hope that you will make that step though and over time you will come to grips with the new you and the new environment you have to adapt to, who knows you might love it. God be with you.

Queen of Arts and England said...

Sorry,I have not blogged in so long, I had no idea you were having some struggles! I will certainly remember you in prayer, and trust it will be better for you soon.Be happy!

Mridula said...

Hmm, there is nothing wrongin having a job in b'lore, after all the jobs are there! How do your parents feel about it? I am sure they are OK by it and so should you be.

Anonymous said...

Good parents give their children two things - Wings to fly away and Roots to know where home is..