Sunday, August 28, 2005

Greedy..Stupid... me?? What is wrong with me ??

Why do I want to get a job in Bangalore? Why do I want this year (acc) year to finish off fast ? Why do I keep thinking of wht I will be next year ? Why do I keep planning I year in advance ?Why do I want to move out of home ? Why do I hate going out with my parents? Why do I hate being ´alone´ ? Why do I crave food ?Why do I want to leave my parents ..the very people who gave birth to me..made me wht I am..the people who love me??Am I like the little birdie who just flies away from its nest!! The last I saw the mirror I was still human...Oh good Lord wht is the matter with me!!!!!

Is it cause I want to get all those goodies I ´want´? Is it cause I want freedom? Is this wht everybody goes through at some point? Do I think so? my Dad dint move out till he got married.. and my mom never moved out cause we live at her ancestral property...Is it cause I´m 23 and never been in a relationship?

Is this some new thing that the guys in my generation experience? Or am I plain greedy? Oh dear Bloggers!!!! you are my only hope....Please tell me I´m ok..Please tell me you still love me!!!

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

my desktop yesterday


This is just a test post...just trying to figure out how my blog will look like if I update from Linux...the browser is mozilla, and the OS is Mandrake 9.1...
the pics on the IM are me and my friend Johnsy...

Saturday, August 20, 2005


Boys are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The girls don't want to reach for the good ones because they're afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead they just get the rotten apples that are on the ground, that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think that there is something wrong with them, when in reality, they are amazing. That is why we just have to be a little patient and the right girl, the one who takes a chance to find the good, right apple, will come someday...!!

Send this to all the boys who you know is at the top of the tree.So Guys if u are alone...this means that u r on be confident and wait for your time. CheerzZ!


This came as an IM long back..I think it was either Nidhy or Riza who sent this to me..two great girls I met in college..and Riza is getting married in months..I had this saved on my desktop, saw it today though..I might as well share it with my dear blogger and xanga guess it applies for rib apples



so there's an apple...I found so many pics of apples on da net..but this one seemed cool to my eyes..cause mabbe the apples I've ever seen and had looked like fast came in crates from North India(Kashmir or Himachal Pradesh) or from Europe..I live in tropical there it is..


I did pretty much nothing today....went to the swimming pool and it was closed for the all of us came back and I've been waiting this friend of mine Aju..he was supposed to show up by now....



Thursday, August 11, 2005

back to books again

I've got an exam tomorrow.The exam that got postponed Human Resource Management.I pray I'm able to do well

Yesterday evening had been to church church.They have constitued a website committee and I am one of the So God is having plans for me at church I believe , or mabbe not . I am yeilding to Him .Let Him lead me.

Here's Psalm 23 .. That's my fav pslam....If I ever were King David's contemporary, I'd have been his

David slays Goliath
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that would have been how David threw Goliath down with the sling ( he mite have used his right hand )

Psalm 23

1 A Psalm of David. The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

I've got to be with my HR books tomorrow, that postponed exam is day after tomorrow. Hope I do well . Keep me in prayer

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

A blessing!!!

that's me Vivek and Sargine at church last week took this on Jennifer's new phone..:)
Posted by Picasa that little guy Vivek plays guitar keyboard and sings like a professional..hes a true wonderkid

I was feeling down today and I put this as my status on yahoo messenger "I hate the gift of self-will and that wht screws my life"

This chechi(chechi is wht we call elder sisters in my language- its a sign of respect) I know saw this and spoke to me..she's a blessing to me.Thank you Lord for such wonderful people in my life
here's the transcript...I hope it helps others who go thru wht I'm goin thru

Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 5:56:52 AM): hey thomas!!!
thomascris (8/9/2005 5:56:55 AM): hey chechi
thomascris (8/9/2005 5:56:57 AM): how you doing
thomascris (8/9/2005 5:56:59 AM): been sometime
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 5:57:05 AM): i knw
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 5:57:09 AM): kind off busy
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 5:57:11 AM): stil busy
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 5:57:27 AM): but couldnt resist typing, whn i saw youer status bar!!
thomascris (8/9/2005 5:57:43 AM): ah..just random thoughts...
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 5:57:52 AM): wht happnd
thomascris (8/9/2005 5:57:59 AM): If I dint have that would I ever do anything wrong
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 5:58:19 AM): hellooooooooooooooooo
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 5:58:29 AM): tak in some lang: whihc normal people, understand
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 5:58:32 AM): wht hapnd
thomascris (8/9/2005 5:59:00 AM): ah if I dint have the ability to make my decisions
thomascris (8/9/2005 5:59:15 AM): I would have been well off just following God's commandments
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 6:00:30 AM): but thomas, each time u fall, rememebr u r learning to walk!!!! ... like the babies who try to walk initially.. so whn the baby gonna fall, jst watch, how the dad/mom run to hold babies hand.. How much more our heavnly father
thomascris (8/9/2005 6:01:09 AM): but I never learn to walk
thomascris (8/9/2005 6:01:16 AM): I hope I do soon
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 6:01:30 AM): its ok, some babies take a long time to walk (like me)
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 6:01:37 AM): Still dad waits...
thomascris (8/9/2005 6:02:34 AM): but guilt and fear kills me sometime though I dont show it outside
thomascris (8/9/2005 6:02:46 AM): ah u are not like me ..... u are far better than me chechi
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 6:03:35 AM): hey thomas!!!!! know tht guilt and diaapppointment are two major weopen devil uses aganist the believers
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 6:03:48 AM): Bible says, Oour God forgive and forgets.
thomascris (8/9/2005 6:04:04 AM): mmm I know all this its all in my head
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 6:04:04 AM): no dear, no one is better than any one.. its just pure grace tht all are like this
thomascris (8/9/2005 6:04:12 AM): Its not moving to my heart
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 6:04:22 AM): i knw .. it happens to me also many a time
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 6:04:32 AM): and i think to myself!!!
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 6:05:21 AM): u knw many a times, i know.. i am gonna sin, evn i pry, LORD... if i go there, i am sure, me gonna sin.. But still i end up doing/thinking whihc i'm not supposed to
thomascris (8/9/2005 6:06:06 AM): I know it is wrong..I know I'll fell bad once I do it...but I just turn my heart to stone and do it
thomascris (8/9/2005 6:06:18 AM): I'm one sick person sometimes
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 6:06:28 AM): ya same , thing evn i was trying to tel u
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 6:06:37 AM): not just u , me too
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 6:06:46 AM): but thts were HIS grace comes in place.
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 6:07:09 AM): His word says tht, evn if ur sin is like red.. he can turn it into white as snow
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 6:07:17 AM): u knw, HE knows us better
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 6:07:34 AM): Stil HE is patient enough to Handle us
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 6:07:46 AM): Just wait and tel LORD, i knew it...s til i did it...
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 6:08:04 AM): Tel me, we really dont wanna to.. but did it..
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 6:08:16 AM): MAn trust me, u can stil feel the gentle touch of the LORD
thomascris (8/9/2005 6:08:18 AM): i know chechi but I'm not quite able to get it in
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 6:08:30 AM): i knw.... happens...
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 6:08:51 AM): many a times i've gone thru situation like this ( remind u: many a times)
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 6:09:00 AM): many a times, i think.. i am fooling GOD
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 6:09:05 AM): and getting fooled myself..
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 6:09:19 AM): But u know.. He is slow to aner, companiate...
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 6:09:22 AM): Loving GOD
thomascris (8/9/2005 6:10:00 AM): I read the book of Jonah I kinda get the feeling that punishment is imminent
thomascris (8/9/2005 6:10:08 AM): and I dont know whts wrong with me
thomascris (8/9/2005 6:10:19 AM): I hope I get better
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 6:10:58 AM): today u talking like this, jsut coz... u really never wanna be in it
thomascris (8/9/2005 6:11:31 AM): s I guess
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 6:11:32 AM): u know THOMAS... if u still feel tht u did bad, just be happy tht, the HOLY SPIRIT Inside u, is telling uthis
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 6:11:56 AM): and HE is still working in YOU
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 6:12:19 AM): if Holy SPIRIT was not in u, u wil never feel tht u did wrong,
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 6:12:21 AM): rt??/
thomascris (8/9/2005 6:12:27 AM): s that is true
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 6:12:45 AM): so cheer boy!!!
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 6:12:56 AM): HE still needs u and HE is close to u
thomascris (8/9/2005 6:13:00 AM): s chechi
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 6:13:02 AM): HE wants to tel u something
thomascris (8/9/2005 6:13:14 AM): hmm
thomascris (8/9/2005 6:16:22 AM): thanx chechi....I feel better...I guess I shud spent more time in prayer and try not to repeat the same mistake again
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 6:17:29 AM): dont knw, whetehr u can pry now or not!!! but u can jst sit and talk to HIM
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 6:17:45 AM): coz me cant pry ... in such situations u c
thomascris (8/9/2005 6:18:17 AM): mmmm I think I can if I try to
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 6:19:55 AM): good, God Bless U dear,
thomascris (8/9/2005 6:20:21 AM): thank you chechi..u really are a blessing to me
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 6:20:47 AM): See, still it shows tht HE loves U moe than anyone...
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 6:20:57 AM): other wise , do u thiknk this BBUSY chechi wil talk to u
thomascris (8/9/2005 6:21:35 AM): s chechi I'm getting goosebumps and my eyes are getting wet
thomascris (8/9/2005 6:21:42 AM): love you
Joice Mary Titus (8/9/2005 6:22:20 AM): Love u too dear. God Loves u above all, spend time with HIM.. HE waiting for u

Isnt she wonderful...thank God for her again

Saturday, August 06, 2005


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The remains....
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Today is the 60th anniversary of the Hiroshima bombings..I just wanted everyone to remember that in prayer and hope that such mass destruction never happens again.
God be with you all
Intership was fine today,the manager was kinda busy today with some meeting so I dint have much to do.Prayers

Friday, August 05, 2005

Internship Blues.......

My first day at internship wasnt very pleasant, but by God's grace I was a lot better at the end of the day. The good thing was even though circumstances were against me, He was with me, I dint loose my cool even once and everyone I met were good to me by God's grace.

I had 2 offers for internship and it so happened that all two wouldnt give me the required information.In addition to working for them, I am supposed to generate a report about the organisation by the end of the month, and all three wouldnt disclose their financial statements

I found this out around 12:00 noon from both the firms. The HR executive at the first company was a young pretty lady probably in her late 20's she me all other information other than Financial statements.

So I went to this other firm and the Vice-President HR too was kind he too obliged to help me and promised me even the audited financial statements.I was quite happy and called up my guide at college.To my surprise he wasnt happy, he said the second firm has just 100 coders working with then and its not a large company.

So finally by 3:00 pm I got permission at the State Bank of Travancore , the largest nationalised bank in my State.I badly wanted to work this month with a software firm as that was my area of interest.I firmly believe that God has better plans for me.Mabbe HE wanted me to get acquaited with some financial institution too after all I'm doin an MBA.

After which I came home and we practised for sunday's worship service at youth fellowship at my home.and now here I am tired and exhaused but thankful to God.I called my Dad almost 12 times today.He was very supportive everytime I had trouble today.I thank God for the wonderful gift my Dad is to me.

I actully started reading that book thinking it would help me at my intership,but now I find it intersting and I guess I'd take a paper on Software project management in the last semester.

I just want to share this verse with you:

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end" Ecclesiastics 3:11

Thanks to all my xanga buddies for keeping me in prayer and for your wishes they mean a lot to me.Thank you Lord for making me tough and tired but not disheartened. Praise you Lord for the good internship you've given me.Jesus you are awesome.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

A lazy day..but tough one's approaching

Today was pretty much a free day..did very little work till now...I got my exam schedule for that postponed exam and its on August 12th.I got a call from the faculty co-ordinator for out internship, and I'm supposed to start tomorrow. I called the HR manager of the company and I shud be there tomorrow by 10.00 am  . I just hope things are not too difficult for  me there.
I just thought I'd read the book of  Jonah today and finish it today.I should be starting it by off I go for lunch; then shud apply for the RBI Officers test and then I would be here at home reading Jonah.
A friend of my read this quote in his devotional book and sent it to me
"Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men. Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers. Pray for powers equal to your tasks. Then the doing of your work shall be no miracle. But you shall be a miracle. Every day you shall wonder at yourself, at the richness of life which has come to you by the grace of God. Not in doing what you like but in liking what you do is the secret of happiness."
--James M. Barrie
ah..would put down wht I find beautiful in Jonah at nite..

---------------10:37 pm

The amazing thing you find from the book is simple 'If God gives you directions and you dont follow, HE gives you free transportation to the place HE wants you to go.It would'nt be pleasant when God does that but HE will make you fullfill his will'

Looking at my life I find' I havent quite been obedient to God. Hope HE isnt harsh on me..I guess this holiday I got to read the book of Jonah was just to help me rewrite the wrongs in my life.Mabbe He's giving me another chace,hope I dont miss it.Praying for all my xanga buddies and others around..God be with you all,keep me in prayer too

Monday, August 01, 2005

My Grandma's note

Praise exams were fine today.I've got one more exam this semester and its over.The next and last paper is 'Human Resource Management' the university is yet to give us the got a couple of days to relax I guess...

I was arranaging my cupboard and found this note from my grandma.She wrote me this for my 23rd here it goes...

My dear Renji mon,

          Wish you a very very happy and blessed birthday.May our Lord shower all His abundant blessings upon you,throughout this year and the years to come.Keep your eyes on the Lord. He never takes His eyes off you.When we keep our eyes on Christ, obstacles become opportunities.To know ,to love and to live for God is the desire of a renewed sanctified soul.Pray well. He stands best who kneels most.Prayer is a child's helpless cry to the father's attentive ear. All who are born of God should develop a likeness to their father. Live like a flower by spreading fragrance.

          May our loving and living Lord bless you physically & spiritually. Praying for you fervently.

Yours affectionately,


I thank God for such a sweet grandma that he gave me.Oh God!! you really care for me.